Maybe You Don’t Need Therapy, But Everyone Deserves Therapy

As both a therapist and a therapy client, I am painfully aware of the stigma mental health services, including therapy, have in our country. I am also painfully aware of both the limits of therapy and the many, many people who could have better lives if they had access to therapy, but don’t. Too many people are now using the term “mental health” to mean “mental illness”-including some therapists. So instead of using those terms, just for the amount of time it takes to read this post, I’m asking you to put them aside. Pretend they don’t exist.

Many (too many) people get up every day and, despite their own gut feelings that there’s got to be a better way to make a living, or get along with their kids or relatives or friends or coworkers or boss, just keep going the way they’ve always done. Countless people suffer from anxiety, from feeling worthless, emotional exhaustion or overwhelm, and have used every skill and trick they can find on their own, only to give up trying to feel better. Often someone will keep struggling, for years, to find or nurture love and meaning in their life; they may also struggle to make decisions about what they want, where to go, what to do, because they continually doubt and second-guess themselves and have no confidence in their own abilities and wisdom. Any of these issues can result in a person feeling alone or as if they don’t belong anywhere, and feeling more and more drained by the effort it all takes.

For anyone who works hard to have a satisfying life, make the world a better place, deal with relationships (any relationships), and keep a loving heart, the world can often feel like a cruel and unforgiving place. For anyone who has been traumatized by sexual, physical, or emotional abuse or neglect, it’s often easy to wonder if all the effort to get from day to day is worth it. For couples who keep hoping they can figure out how to be happier together, but can’t seem to make it happen on their own, the price of continuing the same unrewarding patterns can be unacceptable. For anyone in any of these situations, reaching out for help can be so hard to do, but so rewarding.

When past suffering continues to haunt us, sometimes it’s just too hard to pretend that we’re OK when we’re absolutely not-but we often believe we simply have to, because nobody else can understand this devastating pain. And how could they, when we can’t either? I have worked with so many brave survivors and count myself blessed to have experienced seeing clients own their incredible courage and strength to feel better and free themselves.

I know it can be terrifying to ask for help. I also know, both as a therapist and as a client, what it’s like to work with someone who’s not a relative or friend but a partner and guide in healing to help create a better life, with more room to make good things happen. I know what it’s like to have someone to help explore how the past keeps barriers to health and happiness in place, someone who can help discover how to work with a person’s hidden power to get free. I’ve seen how life-changing it is to have a listener, a reality checker, a cheerleader to go to, an ally to help someone be their best and have the best possible life. I know that when even close friends and family members run out of ideas and support, it’s time for something different. As a therapist, my experience of being that ally, that support, that partner brings me joy every time a client has an insight or makes a breakthrough.

Maybe I’m biased, but every year I believe more firmly that we all deserve someone who’s on our side (or our relationship’s side, or our family’s side) and really wants greater wellness and joy for us and for the world we find ourselves in. I believe we all deserve better lives and the help and resources to get there. I believe we all deserve to have someone to help us see and claim and make use of the wisdom and the power within us. I believe we all deserve someone to help us bear the unbearable, and take action to change it.

I believe we all deserve a good therapist. If you have any questions about the therapy process, please give me a call at 541-262-0080. I can answer your questions, tell you what to expect, and help you determine whether therapy is the right course of action for you.

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